Well! The Kravitzes were returning from a festive evening out with friends recently, only to be met on Columbia St. by JoAnn and Sue, all a-twitter with agitation and foreboding! It seems that the several "Shreveport's finest" surrounding a car in the parking lot around the corner were effecting a drug bust! 
Involved were couple of women and a man, the latter of whom fled right through the middle of the Kravitz's usually (?) quiet residential block! While in flight, the perp* allegedly discarded a GUN over the fence from June's back yard into Mike-n-Eddy's back yard! Possibly there might've even been some illicit drug-like substances left in the area, but neither Mike nor Eddy, we suspect, would come clean if they "found" any. 
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! June's gone missing!! At about the same time, she walked up the block to move her car into her driveway, and HASN'T BEEN SEEN SINCE!! "And it's just not like her to fail to report her whereabouts at any given time to JoAnn and Sue!" Not that the Kravitzes panic at the first reports of suspicious crinimal activity, but this dastardly scenario is just too much: 9-1-1 is called. Rescuers and peace officers descend upon the distraught friends. "Well, ma'am, maybe she just went to run some errands..." 
"BUT IT'S JUST NOT LIKE HER... REPORT HER WHEREABOUTS... JOANN AND SUE!!" Surely that fleeing perp hid in June's car, forced her at ex-gunpoint to drive his getaway vehicle, and... OH the possible outcomes are just to horrific to be imagined!
A nail-bitingly long hour or so later, who should drive up but the missing little old lady herself, looking very serene, healthy and non-car-jacked; reporting that she did indeed move her car into her driveway as planned, and then went to her niece's birthday party! We'll leave this scene with the ensuing discussion among friends about whether one should announce her whereabouts at any given time to JoAnn and Sue. "All's well that ends well!" Y'all may recall that we've discussed Teensie & Weensie here on prior occasions. Perhaps you've tried, with varying degrees of success, to wipe those memories from your banks. 
But the fickle finger of fate points to you this day with a story too fascinating to be left untold. Teensie and Weensie are involved in a decorating extravaganza the likes of which Columbia Street hasn't seen since well before Jo Ann's nephew got married in her front room. Balloons! Potted floral arrangements! Surely it must be another nuptial event... But NO. The wedding (of a friend) is next week. Teensie and Weensie, who in another vocational capacity are "caterers" (in fact, drive the 'Roach Coach' to various job sites and oil rigs, selling delicacies to blue-collar workers in the field), will be creating the wedding cake and other confections. But this week, it's to be a LINGERIE SHOWER! Mrs. Kravitz regrets using the terms "Teensie and Weensie" and "lingerie" in the same paragraph, but you readers are surely inured to unfortunate mental images with regard to the goings-on in the Kravitz' lives by now. It took two days for all those balloons to periodically pop, startling the Kravitzes and their houseguest, whose nerves were already on edge because of the nefarious and sinister events described above. Mrs. Kravitz will take a nerve pill, perhaps put a cool, damp cloth on her forehead, and recover her frazzled fortitude, hopefully in time to bring you once again ...another Kravitz Report. | 
